## 3. Whether both partners are willing to understand what happened
Infidelity rarely happens in a vacuum. Understanding what conditions made the affair possible, what needs were going unmet, what patterns in the relationship created vulnerability, is not the same as excusing the choice to cheat.
Couples who recover most successfully tend to do the uncomfortable work of understanding the affair, not just condemning it, because understanding is what allows them to change the underlying conditions rather than just agreeing not to repeat the behavior.
## 4. Whether there’s complete transparency going forward
Rebuilding trust requires a period of significantly increased openness, often uncomfortable for the partner who cheated and often not enough for the partner who was betrayed. This period tends to involve complete transparency about communication, location, and contact with the other person, for longer than the cheating partner typically expects.
The timeline for restoring trust belongs to the betrayed partner, not to the partner who cheated, and accepting that mismatch without resentment is one of the harder things genuine repair requires.
## 5. Whether contact with the other person ends completely
This one tends to be non-negotiable in successful cases. Maintaining any ongoing contact with the person involved in the affair, even framed as professional or unavoidable, makes rebuilding trust functionally impossible for most betrayed partners. Most marriages that recover do so after all contact ends, fully and permanently.